If only we could sell a cow like a car dealer does!
Why, we in the cattle business would never see another poor day! But before a cow can be sold a State brand inspector must look at the cow to be sold. When the brand inspector verifies that the cow does in fact have the correct brand in the proper location kind of like a license plate that shows that the cow does indeed belong to the seller. Then a brand inspection certificate is issued the same as getting a Pink Slip when you buy a car. Now we enter the phase in the auto world where it’s time to accessorize that much talked about really cheap advertised priced automobile. But reality shows you that you only got a new car smell a nicely painted body, an engine and running gear, four tires. Those fancy wheels their an accessory and that advertised price has just doubled and you hope that it doesn’t triple which is possible if you buy an extended warranty insurance policy. Which makes a person wonder if this dream mobile is going to disintegrate the moment the manufacturer warranty runs out.
It seems that our local car dealer has decided to buy a cow and has called on a well known cattleman in the community. Do you have a cow for sale the car dealer asked? Our cattleman wanting to accommodate the car dealer felt it would only be fair to sell his cow much like the car dealer sold his cars. What follows is a bill of sale presented to our local car dealer.
Basic Cow. $699.95
Loading and unloading $35.75
Full on 4 stomachs digester $179.25
Two tone exterior hair coat $142.10
Hay storage compartment with
automatic cud chewer attached. $126.50
Heavy duty tongue operated
Grass harvester. $189.60
Four spigot high output milk
dispenser. $149.20
Automatic flyswatter $88.50
Genuine cowhide upholstery. $179.90
Deluxe two horn head piece. $59.25
Four by four all split toed hoof
drive. $884.16
Heavy duty manure spreader $339.40
Hoof trim and wash. $69.80
No tax. $00.00
Retrieval fee if cow receives
improper care. $300.00
Total delivered price. $3360.26
Well this will probably never happen in the cattle business that I know because we're all too damned independent to live in the same house with your local car dealer. And he’s thinking how could a person exist, selling a cow, for an unknown price after caring for said cow through good times and bad, healthy times and sick times. Probably nobody but a person who likes cows and a life outdoors so for those who choose this way to live a life makes me want to sing. “I love my cow, a bushel and a peck, a barrel and a heap, yea I love her all to heck” but a little survival training in diversification studies might not be all bad.
See Ya,
Jack