I’M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT
My country encompasses that lower part of Monterey County, California. The northern boundary is King City and the southern boundary is the San Luis Obispo county line. It runs from the Pacific Ocean east to the Fresno County line in the west.
If you’re going to have a country, you have to have a capital. Parkfield is the name of ours; population 18. It has all the trappings of a fully functional city. Why, we have the finest one room school in the land, an Inn and Cafe, a state of the art town hall, rodeo arena, church with service on Wednesdays, and a Cal Fire forestry station. We are the earthquake capital of the cosmos. I think other folks on other planets in the cosmos must have earthquakes, but I’m sure ours are the best.
I’ve heard tell that if you’re going to run for president you have to have a platform. It’s supposed to show what I plan to do for my country!
I believe that our future rests with our youth. So what am I going to do about it?
First, I will fire the principle of any school that wants to ban tag from our grammar school playgrounds.
Secondly, I will have a duel minimum wage that will allow our youth under the age of 18 to let the employers of our land and our youth decide what each kid has to offer in the way of energy, skills, cooperation and attitude to measure their worth. In our present day society most youngsters are priced out of the labor market because of the minimum wage. The employer must pay more than they’re worth so these inquisitive, energetic kids are relegated to spending their learning years consumed with television, cell phones, drugs or some other destructive habit. Let’s quit wasting these precious years in the name of child welfare. What we’re doing now to our youth is true child abuse. Let’s let them work and play at jobs and games that leave them with an optimistic view of themselves.
Third, everybody in this day and age needs to know how to drive an automobile. In our country of mostly country roads, I propose that our youth learn to drive at 12 years of age. Anything learned at a young age is always better than at an older age. Dancing is much the same; learn to dance when you’re young and less inhibited and it will come easy. In my country, dancing will be offered in grammar schools. Plus it’s good exercise.
Fourth, exercise will be mandatory. Those that exercise will be less likely to become couch potatoes in later life.
Now we have a good academic environment for kids to learn in. If book learning is not your cup of tea, vocational programs will be as important as studying to be a lawyer (which we have far too many of).
The government that governs best governs less. This means you’re going to have to make it mostly on your own.
Next, we need to practice the Golden Rule ( do unto others as you would like them to do to you). It’s the best way I know of to get along with your neighbor. If you really want to put frosting on the cake of neighborliness, don’t keep score, and do 51% of whatever. You know, that probably will work in a marriage, too.
The right to keep and bare arms will not be denied. Private property rights, though not perfect, is light years ahead of any system a government might dream up. I see many more stewards of the land doing a wonderful job now than I did 30 or 40 years ago. We need a little patients as the old miners of the soil die off to be replaced with new younger stewards. Once armed with new sustainable ways to care for the lands of our nation, they will move into the decision making arena.
By the way, the name of our nation that I would like to preside over is Cholame (a Yokuts Indian word meaning “The Beautiful One”). Add in a motto to live by– never yell whoa in a bad place– then throw in a song to brighten your day (Oh What a Beautiful Morning from the stage play Oklahoma) and you have my platform.
See Ya,
Jack