VERTIGO, NOW I HAVE IT, NOW I DON’T
For possibly 2 or 3 years I believe that I’ve had a “goings on”, that has been annoying to say the least. The kind that never made my world spin around so that I might find myself on the ground, but left me with the anticipation of being laid out on the ground with the world spinning above me. I was never able to completely erase the feeling that it might happen. The name Vertigo is one of those dreadful words that scared me enough, to fear that even if I open a book on the subject I might become infected.
But good luck, which has been a close friend of mine all my life, was along with me a couple of weeks ago when I went to see our family doctor for my biannual check up. The time when you breathe deeply, pee in a bottle, check blood pressure and then he asked the closing question “how do you feel”. I said I feel fine except that if I get up to fast, twist around to fast or put my head down to tie my shoes I feel kind of “yucky”. My doctor then went on to explain that my balance was being compromised because of Vertigo. He said “some crystals in my inner ear were not where they were supposed to be.” Well good ole me thinking the worst said “what do I do now?”. He said, “I’m sending you to a physical therapist”. Well, what did I do? I walked right past his receptionist who was to make an appointment for me to see a therapist. I slid right past her and out the door. I was sure that the therapist would induce a dizziness that I would never recover from. How stupid, but still real to me. After my visit with my Dr. and a couple of days had gone by I’m bending over to mark a piece of steel that I needed to cut when all of a sudden I lose my balance and feel nauseous. It only lasted a few moments. That’s it you coward, you’re going to call that therapist and then probably spend the rest of your life just spinning around. The only guy who ever went into orbit with out leaving the ground.
The first day, of the rest of my life, to spend in orbit had arrived. But I came prepared with a list questions that if the therapist ‘Toni’ could not answer to my satisfaction I could still ‘chicken out’. But before I could unleash my list of anxieties Toni totally disarmed me with questions that all I could do, was to answer yes, leaving me no escape route to where ‘Chickens’ live. She knew that she had me and that for me to turn back now she had every right to call me a “Weak Heart”, a disgrace to the male population of the world. So like any captured animal with no escape I capitulated and took the goggles that she asked me to look through, while she looked at my eyes from the other side of the goggles. This she explained dictated that I would do the Gufoni Maneuver and this maneuver would put the Calcium Carbonate crystal back in their proper place. This would be my inner ear, the part where my balance resides. She said ” I would feel much more balanced.” Next Toni had me lay quickly on my left side on to a padded table with a pillow and to look at a 45 degree angle for 3 minutes. I was comfortable when she said, “you can sit up now” and I said “That’s it? That’s all there is to it? You mean that I called on all my courage for what I do every night”. Toni said “well it’s a little different and more structured it’s so that Gravity can start to strip the crystals (Otoconia) stuck on some little hairs in my Horizontal Canal and then Gravity would put them back in my (Utricle) where they belonged. Then she said “I’m not quite finished yet, I want you to repeat this exercise twice a day at home for one week and then come back so I can test your balance and I will most likely be able to send you home without having to see me again. Well maybe a little tune up in the future.”
By the time I left I was already feeling like I could pass a sobriety test if necessary and every day since, now day 4, I feel like walking a tight rope, well not quite. But to all you class of 53ers if your feeling a little Rocky, The cure requires no pills, no shots, no X rays just a little Gravity to shunt those pesky little crystals back where they belong and then you can give Vertigo the old heave ho.
See Ya,
Jack
P.S. update 3/14/18 Just finished my third weekly trip to have Toni, my Vertigo guru, work her wonders. She’s getting the last of my Crystal’s to move back where they belong and you know, l also get a neck massage as part of the get well process and I have an eye exercise that she has taught me to do at home that works well also. Ya know, I’m getting to like Toni and my Vertigo visits that will soon be over. But I guess that’s the price you pay for getting well.